I was dreaming that I wasn’t sleeping but just brawling with my eyes closed and I was really slowly sliding my thumb across my ipod searching for a b button. I woke up worried where the b button was but it was just my pod.
But now I just want to turn the lights off, listen to Rainbow, and go to sleep.
For some reason, a few buddies and I thought it would be a good idea to order four metric shit-tons of food. This is what happened:
Just remember, you can always count on Tyler to like it.
Such an influence on my childhood
Mike Vallely was the only skateboarder I ever wanted to be like. He was a gentle bad ass with a heart of gold in a cage of iron.
So, I am sitting in my room, all by my lonesome, listening to Opeth’s “Blackwater Park” for the 647329373729th time, and I realize that for six years, this work of art has been persistent in my life.
This album was originally given to me by Todd Taylor, my 8th and 9th grade girlfriend’s stepdad. I never really listened to it until after she broke up with me, and then it was one of the many albums that guided me through the process of emotionally recovering from the breakup. Thinking back to that point in history makes me realize how much I miss it. I was going through such a rough time, and spent most of my time beign antisocial, partially due to my Myspace holdout, and the other half due to the absurd amount of Gamecube I played. It was mostly Madden 07 and Twilight Princess (another driving force of my emotional recovery). But for the time I didn’t spend alone, I had the best three friends in the world to fall back on. They put up with my post-breakup crying at lunch (which I do not remember…I think it may be a repressed memory), my constantly shifting semi-terrible taste in music, and just other general bullshittery that permeates my everday life. Thinking back now, I wish things were still that simple. I have made many more great friends since then, but even now, I fall back on that core group. I love you guys.
Over the next few years, the album took a different role, with track 3 “Harvest” being one of the songs I chose when it was my turn to play music for Mr. Cullen’s class, and the first album I played in my Honda Accord (Rest in peace). That was a period in my life which featured a long struggle for a girl, and up to this point, has been worth it. I have a great companion, and someone I can always rely on. That is not to say that I have enjoyed every minute of our relationship, but through eternal patience and perseverance, we make it work. Matthew Mull and I listened to a shit ton of Opeth during this period, and we haven’t been apart for longer than necessary since then. During my junior year of high school, “Blackwater Park” was the first full album I listened to on my Sennheiser HD-280 Pro’s. That summer was the first that I spent with the bros. I really started hanging out with Kasey then, and his friendship is more significant to me than probably 98% of the people I know. My best memories with him consist of me simply lying on his bed and spewing random thoughts to him while he browsed last.fm and Facebook. After another devastating breakup, I slipped into a steep period of cynicism and just being a general asshole. That said, I liked metal again. Opeth was a staple of my listening interests at that point. There isn’t really much more to be said about that.
Fast forward one year, and I am in college. The move was hard for me, but I had Selina. I clung onto her with all the strength I had. I made literally one friend during my first semester at ECU. I was cooped up in my room most of the time, usually only leaving to eat or go to class. Although, oddly I was never down or depressed, only frustrated. After one semester, the friend I made transferred, and I have hardly talked to him since then. I listened to “Blackwater Park” probably fifty times over the course of that semester, picking apart every intricate detail and deciphering every lyric, along with a few other albums by various artists. Everything leveled out during my second semester, and I decided to stay here instead of transferring.
Music went on the back burner at that point, but now a year later, I find myself revisiting this album once again. I think that is partially because “Blackwater Park” is just fucking amazing, and two, because of the nostalgia I feel when listening to it. To break down “nostalgia” etymologically, it comes from the Greek nostos, meaning “homecoming”, andalgia “pain”. Painful homecoming…that is exactly why I go back to one album. Every time I listen to this album, I am back in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, and then I begin creating a new meaning for it. This album reaches far beyond being simply a great series of songs for me…it is the last six years of my life in twelve tracks. Maybe someday, I will be however the hell old I am when I die, and this 2001 Opeth release will tell the story of every chapter in my life. I will go back and listen to the screams and distorted guitars, and live back through every moment of my teenage years, and beyond that.
Really, I just want be 14 again, sitting with the bros at our table, solving the problems of the world, then going to Max’s house for a night concluding with an epic battle. I know that will never happen, but the future is for new experiences, which may include lunch and problem solving, ultimately resulting in other obnoxious shenanigans. I can only hope that I will someday be able to sit with my good buddies, and reminisce through all of our years, together.
The album was over ten minutes ago, but it always ends with my favorite line, which may be the most powerful and significant to this topic.
“The sun sets forever over Blackwater Park.”
I will have a Blue Moon and listen through Blackwater Park.
“Wow, I am twenty years old. How the hell did I get here?”
I lived in the “master” bedroom of a single-wide trailer in Amherst trailer park with my older brother and my parents slept in the bathroom. My little sister’s crib and changing table were in the other room.
One day we went to the community swimming pool and on the way back I opened the door to…
